Mean to Me

I shudder...
Thinking of what you might come to mean to me
Of what you already mean to me
I put up a shield cause...
Cause if you take a closer look at my blackness
You will leave...run away...
Erase me from your memory,
As if I’ve never existed.
If you take a closer look you will see
A torn-out dusty book, that's been left there
On the bottom forgotten shelf...
Its pages all yellowish and in sanguine are dressed
My writings are full of odd carvings that need
Extensive encryption to decode
My meanings are many, and my essence is plain
If you take a closer look, you will see a woman
That you couldn't possibly love,
Not in a physical, not in a mental way.
I shudder again, at night
Because your ghost is there keeping me sweet company
Your ghost is in love with me, and I with it
But I took a closer look, and I saw my emptiness in the dark
And your richness in light, and I resist you
Not because you don't mean to me,
But because you mean to me more than you should
And my journey is paved with thorns and blood
And I never want to wound you intentionally or not
...you mean to me, period.
That shall be my Phoenician stop, period.
...you mean to my spirit everything.