Πέμπτη, 28 Μαΐου 2009

Stream of Consciousness

Stream of Consciousness

Lights are brazing high in the cynical air
Buildings pale as ice sway in the midnight
And sins are dancing in the streets of madness
Fighting for screams of an old century

Fish swim pessimistically in a bubble of lies
Filled with ambition and sadness in their ignorant eyes
Holding their health in plastic bags
And throwing their faith in the white wasteland

Poor souls! Cried the old-greyed man
Holding the stick of eternity in his withered hands
Pointing to the skies of no return
And bellowing for a night that never came

Poor fools! Cried the beauteous girl
Facing the sun with hopelessness again
Wanting to tear the world with her two grey eyes
Filled with anger, misery and brine

Amongst the hopefuls here he lay
A mad Adonis in a sea of sharks
Waiting for the woeful Venus at hand
To stir out the daggers in his heart

The man looked grim as the breaths slowed down
He looked at the sad sun and begged one last chance
The watery eyes filled the thirsty land
And blood danced among the vigorous waves of the heart

Beating spread across the universe of man
And the ghastly Venus fell from the sun’s glory
Atonement swam in the kings’ hearts
And a blaze made the cradle of life vanish in worry

Κυριακή, 24 Μαΐου 2009

Three years ago...

What is the driving force that leads people to fall in love, and always fall for the most unsuitable persons? I’ve often found myself in such a situation without knowing or fully understanding why that is. I guess I’m always hoping for the all time love like some people do and along the way I get carried away by the light air of love, the beautiful thought of being in love and aching for someone who deep down I know it is not the all time love, but is the good enough of right now. That is because as you watch your life pass you by, you settle and go for the one-night-stand-good-enough’s and simply convince yourself that the good enough of right now is ultimately the all time love, because as it is often said good enough is as good enough you will get in this life and life should be filled with actions instead of endless awaits for the ultimate, the perfect and ultimately the all time love.

Late at nights though, thoughts haunt me knowing how cynic our world has become. So much, that we’ve literally stopped believing; not in religion or to some higher authority that controls our lives, but instead we’ve stopped believing in ourselves, in the power of greatness. We see each other as game toys, or even revenge toys that you can canalize your unfulfilled desires, scattering that way a mass chaos which leads only to the so called psychotherapy of everyone on this planet. We simply forget to question why exactly were we put on this planet, why were we made the way we are, why were we made to procreate and survive? Was humanity ultimately to end up the way it has and how proud are we for all that we have done so far? So proud indeed so as to kill each other, betray, steal, cheat, leave people barring colour or shape to rot. We extol writers, singers, poets and actors for trying to open the eyes of the people in what is really going on around them and that they should act against the rottenness and the misery that we spread daily in our path without even realizing it. It is indeed stupid to think that some poor lines are going to move the common people. A fine reason for people to become cynics against life, and just compromise with all its ugliness and its corruption, drugging though more people with they, usually their offspring.

Therefore with all these, how can a feeling that was defined by people survive through this corruption? How can the feeling we named ‘love’ survive and change humanity? Was it deliberately discovered or defined just to make people search for something that could not and still cannot be found and to keep people alert, or was it simply an impulse, a spontaneous thing that humans defined to explain the way we mate and procreate? Can we be considered as ignorant as the ancient Greeks were, when they gave a name for everything that could not comprehend or explain? Did we do the same thing? Are we all just pawns of humanity’s ignorance? If we really sit down and analyze it though, we are bound to discover that love has nothing to do with mating or procreating, and that we might indeed fulfil that saying that ‘ignorance is bliss’. The only thing that is amiss with this saying though, is that we have turned this ignorance into something spiteful, full of adversity and misery. We have turned our mating and procreating habits to things that can only be accepted if the feeling ‘love’ has only to do something with it. We have though, in later years, defined mating habits with other words such as ‘passion’ or ‘desire’ or ‘lust’ so that we can escape the word ‘love’ and to justify to human society the prime instincts of mating with a suppose urge which cannot be avoided when two humans have sexual attraction, ‘making love’ as it is most gently placed in words by humans, so that we can again avoid words that might reveal that indeed mating is animalistic. Animalistic as mating can be considered though, we cannot entirely exclude the fact that it cannot be made with tenderness or with a more gentle way. Of course mating will always be violent at some extent in order to be enjoyed and give pleasure to humans, but it can also provide warmness before or after the sexual mating of two humans.

And what made me develop a theory that negates and nullifies the word ‘love’ that explains all the emotions that people feel for another human being? Simply because I’ve come to realize quite recently that if we do accept the term ‘love’ we are indeed compromising with life’s conventions and that we might be letting ourselves falling into a trap that our ancestors have placed noiselessly upon the later generations, that’s us as well, in order to explain or even to contain people from ‘humping’ one another impudently. Therefore, how much can we trust the word ‘love’ and should we indeed compromise with the term for the rest of our lives, leading most of humanity in this endless search of the one person who can personify the word ‘love’? I wouldn’t if I were in you. I deny shamelessly the word ‘love’ and cease this endless search that I was taught to do since the dawn of my life.

Written
12/07/2006

Δευτέρα, 11 Μαΐου 2009

Ελληνικό Λιοντάρι

Και μου λέει μια συνάδελφος πριν λίγο..."Μην ξεχνάς οτι είσαι Ελληνικό λιοντάρι". Το γεγονός; Είμαι σε μια δουλειά εδω και μερικούς μήνες, η πρώτη μου πραγματική δουλειά για την ακρίβεια και δυστυχώς μου έπεσε ο λίγοντας. Γιατί το λέω αυτό; Δεν είναι ότι είμαι τεμπέλα, άμαθη και χωρίς εμπειρίες. Αλλά όταν το αφεντικό σου έρχεται στην δουλεία και μέσα σε μισή ώρα σε κάνει να αγανακτάς, να κλαις και να'χεις ημικρανία τότε κάτι σίγουρα πάει λάθος.

Όταν το αφεντικό σου πηγαίνει για μεσημεριανό για 2,5 ώρες, μπεκροπίνοντας στη διάρκεια του break του, και γυρνάει πίσω στο γραφείο φέσι, μη ξέρωντας εαν θα αρχίσει να σου φωνάζει για λάθη τα οποία έκανε εκείνος ή εαν θα αρχίσει να σε αστειεύει γιατί δε μπορεί να συγκεντρωθεί για να δουλέψει, τότε σίγουρα κάτι πάει πολύ πολύ λάθος σ' αυτή τη δουλειά.

Θέλω να παραιτηθώ!!!Η μάνα μου μου λέει να κάνω ότι πιστεύω εγώ καλύτερο. Ο πατέρας, καθαρά αυστηρός Έλληνας λέει "μέινε εκεί να σκληρήνεις" άσχετα εαν πλήρωσε τα μαλλιοκέφαλα του για να με σπουδάσει κάτι το οποίο δεν έχει καμία απολύτως σχέση με αυτό που κάνω τώρα.

Ακόμα και το highlighter μου έχει δυνοπαθήσει και έχει αρχίσει να εξαντλήται με όλη αυτή τη κατάσταση. Οικονομική κρίση, my ass! Εγω αυτό που ξέρω είναι οτι περνάω τις ώρες και τις μέρες μου σε μια κωλοδουλειά που δε μου προσφέρει τίποτα ΑΠΟΛΥΤΩΣ, η οποία δε με κάνει καν ανεξάρτητη οικονομικα, η οποία με έχει κάνει άλλον άνθρωπο, γεμάτο μιζέρια, παράπονο και κλάμα. Νιώθω πως είναι καιρός να πάρω την κατάσταση στα χέρια μου πλέον. Γι' αυτό έχω αποφασίσει να παραιτηθώ, να μείνω ταπί και να ψάξω για μια δουλειά που πραγματικά θα μου προσφέρει κάτι, οχι μόνο σε μένα την ίδια αλλά και στους δικούς μου.

Όσο ιδεαλιστικό και να ακούγεται αύτο θα κάνω. Παιδιά, σκυλιά και γκόμενους δεν έχω. Κανείς δε με κρατάει και άλλωστε μια φορά στη ζωή μου είμαι 22 χρονών, γι αύτο δε θα αρχίσω να παίζω το παιχνίδι απο τώρα.

Και όσο μαλάκας κι αν είναι ο κοντός Αγγλοινδός (the boss) σε μερικές μόνο μέρες θα του πω ένα "'Αιντε και στα τσακίδια" και θα κινήσω για αλλη μία φορά για το άγνωστο! Κι όπου με βγάλει παιδιά! Άλλωστε μη ξεχνάμε...είμαι Ελληνικό Λιοντάρι! :)